As part of our ‘Revisiting’ series of essays, we are connecting with music fans, friends, writers, and fellow travelers to reflect on the meaning of the bands and music that has touched their lives. One of our favorite bands is The Connells.

Anyone who knows Dr. J is well aware of his passion and love for this incredible band. They and their music did connect Dr. J and Mrs. Dr. J, so perhaps there is some bias there. One of the most insightful music commentators is our good friend Rob Perry. Rob is thoughtful, contemplative and simply has some of the best taste in music. When we asked Rob if he would reflect on The Connells as they celebrate over 40 years as a band and 30 years since the release of their masterpiece, ‘Ring‘, Rob quickly sent the following essay. Many thanks to Rob for this and our public apology for taking so long to get it on the site.

Most who know me, understand that I am first and foremost a music fan. I always have been and always will be. While I grew up in a small town in Georgia, I used music to allow me to explore the world and other cultures, etc. Music has also always been a means of escape for me. At the age of 22 and in the Fall of 1986, while serving in the U.S. Air Force, I was assigned to the airbase in Goldsboro, NC.  I typically listened to Raleigh’s WRDU FM radio station and was introduced to The Connells’ music by one of their deejays, Kitty Kinnon.

Now I don’t claim to be one of The Connells’ super fans. That title is reserved and bestowed on the truly worthy ones, some that I even know. What I do claim is a special bond with the band and their music that has woven itself into the fabric of my entire life and existence. Subconsciously and organically I’ve come to rely on their music and live shows to help cheer me up when I’m sad, to comfort me when I’m depressed, to give me hope when there is none, and to lead me to think about things I’ve never pondered. Their music has been there, front and center, throughout the joyous births of my three children, the excruciating pain of losing my daughter, and my two sons’ evolution into men of their own.

Whether purposefully or not, there are so many things related to The Connells’ music interwoven into my and my family’s lives. My children grew up listening to the band while strapped into their car seats in our second-hand Volvo wagon. They were rocked to sleep many nights as I sang “Lay Me Down” or “Much Easier” to them.

In a show of my love, I have gently passed onto them Darker Days, Boylan Heights, and all of the albums that came later, much like I would have my great-grandfather’s pocket knife or my grandmother’s favorite coffee cup. I want my children to fondly remember this music and how it makes them feel.

Whether it was The Connells’ small shows or big concerts, if there was a way for me to make it there I did. And still do! My first live experience seeing them was at Raleigh’s Dorton Arena when they played a Wake County-sponsored High School Graduation event. It was only intended for recent graduates but I figured out that I could volunteer to be a chaperone and actually get inside to see the show. Weird maybe, but I was desperate to see this band live. Soon afterward, other cities and venues would follow: Cat’s Cradle in Chapel Hill, The Ritz in Raleigh, The Fox Theatre in Atlanta, The Boathouse in Norfolk, Neighborhood Theatre in Charlotte, The National in Richmond, Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, and many, many more. Some shows were attended with groups of friends and some I ended up going alone. Whatever the case, I was never disappointed and enjoyed every live gig. I’ve even enjoyed bumping into members of the band out at other artists’ shows around the Triangle, NC area.

My relationship with The Connells continues to this day. It’s one that can’t be replaced and one that I couldn’t have lived without. For quite some time, I’ve wanted to submit these words to the public and thank the band for their art and music. My life would have been dramatically different and less fulfilled without the band in it.

Sending peace and positive light to The Connells band members, past and present, and their families.